Tuesday, November 17, 2009

and more

More Shower Power

shana was over seeing

rayanna lives for the camera

More fun

this guy

the neices were in full cute mood, sisterly love

Shower Power!

Ty and his baby sister Maddy...who btw is teething and vex about the whole situation. can you blame here, growing teeth gotta be hard work!
I clean up nice

speaking of pals, this here is that anthony fella, see him at his own blog, SBU

thats the beautiful pregos.

Wash up that mess!

I been meaning to get back into painting, its really relaxing once you can sink deep into the design, gonna work on a few projects for old time sake, my pal anthony snagged up a lil sumthin i did and had lying around, made me feel like i havent lost my touch! thanks bro!

Monday, November 2, 2009

Holloween @ Downtown

So obviously i was a tribal princess lol

Crazy Packed! Every friggin where!

oh my feet where killing me by this point!

All and all a good time, felt a slight bit out of my element since i've never dressed up but it turned out great, i got to dance and have a good time, the crew was chill and although we witnessed a few fights no drama came our way.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

hold of self

I’m a imperfect person, I’ll be the first to admit that. But sometimes I’ll make one of those mistakes that remind me of the skinny 9 year old girl with the 5 ton bookbag taking a slow 20 minute walk home from school I use to be. Oh I remember those days well, it seemed like every other minute I was making a mistake, skipping in between my fairytales and my reality, the real and the surreal. But I was just a kid then and that’s excusable and all those mistakes didn’t weigh my chest down with regret. I’m full on adult now, I shouldn’t make mistakes right? God knows the ones I make now always end up as some kind of disaster. Emotionally. Wreck.
I use to be a very angry person, tears running down my face, fist shaking angry. I couldn’t understand…anything. I suppose all teenagers go through it. I would shoot off at the mouth, I wasn’t scared of nobody because I had this super reserve anger that was sure to kick some ass, or carry me through an ass kicking. But then that anger caused me to make some big mistake one that changed me, made me bury that monster deep. Become zen. I never thought I’d see that side of myself again, but I’m making mistakes again, so many, a sure sign that I better shape up, i dont wanna blast anyone out my life, or send them running as fucked as me.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Disney Princess on Ice!

We caught the show on a friday night, this is the big reward for leaving the big city, time with the crew, the kids. Not half bad seats anyway.


The nieces, big rick, lease and nea.
Say Hi Shana!
Rayanna and Maddy were there too.

Lots of fun, my cam battery died! But then it was the memories that sticks the most.

Things will work out somehow

The storm is coming I can feel the wind. Quiet voices whispering again and again. A premonition of much more. Are you prepared for it. I can sit here wondering how I’m gonna manage this. I can wonder if I’m going to need another to comfort me. I can deny it’s onslaught or even just try to sit still, hoping in vain it will pass. But I’ve never been that girl. I’m forever being tested, so hesitant to get it tatted “Things will work out somehow” How much of that phrase do I really believe. It seems this life is guaranteed to prove me wrong and I am at constant battle on what to accept.
I’m not a storm fighter, but I can’t just ignore this.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Worry about who?

I should probably take better care of myself. I mean honestly I’m the worst, so when the doctor tell me this is wrong with you, course it's scary but really....i had it coming. Its moments like this when i wish i'd talked myself into financing that G35 instead of playing it safe with my second hand Honda, course it all makes sense now when i'm forking over all this rent money but still. if i'm doomed i'd rather go out Tokyo Drift style! Okay enough with the ominous talk, actions speak better than words. Its not too late after all I’m still something like a young girl I can work it out. Hopefully, God willing!! I just have to buckle down and do it, no ones gonna take care of me, only I can do that, and do it the best way, people are busy they don’t got time for my shit! Hell, I don’t got time for my shit, but wait what am I doing…worrying about other people’s shit I guess. I’ll make some time. Then DR here I come, and g37, maybe, maybe.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

What a year! A move, new job, heartbreak, new friends, family, all the good shit! Def new experiences all around, living on my own, scary but soooooooo good now! Its the ultimate feelings of freedom. Too much indecision though, driving 30 minutes in the rain crying over Alice in wonderland, going insane, not enough artwork, or photos, not enough writing. Too much working! Seems like im always working which is crazy cause i do the regular 40 hours....sometimes 45...still. What else, miss my friends, love my family, family these people are crazy, mom gonna get better soon, i cant wait....i have no fingernails left. Auntie of the year, all these kids around me so innocent, they dont know how hard its going to get. Pre teen nephew got the growing pains, hes an independent thinker, we hang out. Much better with the books, once your out from the limelight and trust me, i am, you manage to say NO to a lot of pricey items, buy a new sheets instead, 400 tread count. All the bills are on time and Thank God! things didnt pan out with the boyfriend, but, spilled milk philosophy will have to apply, i really cant deal with the anxiety. but seriously i suck! i suck at relationships, i dont know whats that all about, im a hard pill to swallow i guess. i'll get it right one day, until then....so what now, school? yupe i'm back on my bully ish. very hype! im here long enough to be a resident so no out of state fees for me. And then...well... no "and then" thats all i got, dont plan too far ahead. dont rush the moment and dont, stop, believing!!.. streets lights, people!!! yes i miss nyc. but i'm already home so.....
to come very interesting stuff, me thinks.